I'm a coke head

Our scene class had us pick a play or movie that we hopefully hadn't seen and do it in front of the class. The rules are that you have to dress the part, bring the props, and of course act the part.

So my partner and I chose this amazing scene from what I think was a play called Threnody. I must admit that we actually didn't think too much about it when we chose it. It was just intriguing in some sort of weird way but we didn't think we'd have to perform this scene in front of the class.

Nonetheless here is what I had to perform. I wonder what you see in your mind as you read this. What would you see me doing? How do you think I played this? What was I wearing? How do you think my scene partner acted?

Threnody David‐Matthew Barnes Scene: A one‐room house in rural California. Summer, 1989 Man and Woman Dana (20s), poetic, volatile, and desperate, trapped in a relationship with Jake (20s), a guilt‐ridden coke addict. Dana and Jake are broke and living on the edge. She is an aspiring writer and he wants to paint. Following a three‐day jag, Dana here reveals her dislike of life in the country. (Dana is sitting at her typewriter, a pencil clenched between her teeth. A glass of orange juice, a pack of cigarettes, and a lighter are within her reach. Jake is at his easel, painting and covering a canvas in vivid blue. It is the beginning of summer and the year is 1989. Dana and Jake have not slept in three days.) DANA: What time is it? JAKE: Six. The sun is coming up DANA: I just want a little more time. JAKE: How's the last chapter? DANA: I'll finish it later JAKE: I think I'm coming down. DANA: (She stands. She gulps down the glass of orange juice, spilling some. She lights a cigarette.) Let's do some more.(Jake goes and gets their "kit," hidden in a special place. It is a tin box in which is a small bag of speed, a razor blade, a hand mirror and two ends of straws. Dana steps aside and allows Jake to sit at her table, to prepare the drugs. ) It is sucha good thing that you went and saw Ray last night. JAKE: He was glad to see me. DANA: That stuff he's been giving us is the best. It's so pure, Jake. It burns. JAKE: I love it when it burns. He threw in a little extra for celebration. DANA: You told him? JAKE: About the money? DANA: Yeah. JAKE: He doesn't care. He was happy for us. DANA: What if he starts charging us more? JAKE: Dana, you're just paranoid. DANA: I'm okay. JAKE: Are you sure? DANA: It just took us so long to get that money from your parents. JAKE: Well, it's ours now. Five thousand dollars to get me out of debt. DANA: I love you. JAKE: Here. (He offers her two lines of speed.) DANA: Should I do them both or should I save a little for later? JAKE: Do you wanna sleep? DANA: Never again. (She snorts both lines) JAKE: Maybe we should clean the house. DANA: It is clean, honey. We did that yesterday, remember? JAKE: I remember. DANA: (Her attention turns to the picture that Jake has been painting.) Jake, this picture is great! JAKE: Do you like it? DANA: Baby, it's incredible. JAKE: Blue is the color of heartbreak. DANA: You are so amazing. JAKE: You're the talented one. (He snorts two lines.) DANA: You'll love me when I'm famous, won't you? After I write a best‐seller and they make it into a movie?! JAKE: I love you now. DANA: No flowers. JAKE: What? DANA: Remember the first time… when you said that you loved me? JAKE: Yeah. DANA: You almost crashed your car. JAKE: I remember, Dana. DANA: I was staring at you and then I looked out the window. I was looking for the stars. I saw the guardrail on the highway. I thought we would hit it. JAKE: I told you that we wouldn't die. DANA: You scared me. JAKE: I'm a good driver. DANA: I mean the words, Jake, You just said them. . . "Hey, Dana, I love you." I saw this amazing reflection in your eyes . .. . the car lights and the rain . . . it was beautiful. A part of me almost wanted to die. I even smiled when we swerved and just missed that guardrail by inches. I had everything that I needed. JAKE: We're still here. DANA: No flowers. (She returns to the painting.) The color of heartbreak. I like this picture. JAKE: It isn't finished. DANA: Maybe so. JAKE: I love this house. DANA: You like living together? JAKE: Of course I do. DANA: But I've stolen your independence. JAKE: That sounds like a song. DANA: I hear it all the time. JAKE: Do you really? DANA: I've been here for seven months now. Living in the land of nowhere with you. Washing the sheets by hand.Feeding chickens. Scratch and feed. Fields and crops. It's strange here. It's really, really strange. I never imagined life in the country. JAKE: Do you miss the city? DANA: The smell of flowers and piss? I was nothing but a marble living there. People rushing all around, breathing on me with their cinnamon words and candy‐coated bullshit. No, thank you. JAKE: You miss it, Dana. I can tell. DANA: (She is about to cry.) Let's go back there. With the money from your parents, we could get an apartment. I could get a job at a newspaper or a magazine. JAKE: Until you write a best‐seller. DANA: And a swimming pool. I want a swimming pool, Jake. JAKE: Frozen yogurt. DANA: Vanilla. JAKE: We can't move yet. DANA: Why not? JAKE: Dana, we have bills to pay. I'm about to lose my job. If we don't' get caught up‐‐ DANA: The five thousand took you out of debt! We can just go. We'll get one of those bright yellow moving trucks andwe'll pack up our stuff and get the hell out of here. JAKE: It was your choice to move out here with me. DANA: But we never go anywhere! JAKE: Because we don't have any money. DANA: I fucking hate it here. It's always the same thing. When you go to work, it gets so quiet. You wouldn't believe how scary this house is when you're away. I just sit here and I listen to nothing. JAKE: What do you want me to do? DANA: I want you to get me out of here! JAKE: We have nowhere to go. DANA: What about Paris? JAKE: We're not going to Paris, Dana. DANA: But you promised me. JAKE: We're staying here! DANA: I'm here because I love you. JAKE: But you're unhappy. DANA: It isn't your fault. (She kisses him.) I can taste it. JAKE: What? DANA: It's on your lips. JAKE: The speed? DANA: The words. The guardrail. My savior.

So here's what we did. I had a tin box from a Fossil watch I had gotten. I never used it for anything but I figured this would make the perfect prop as described in the scene. I filled a little baggy with some flour, bought a razor blade at the 99 cent store, cut up a straw, and got a little mirror from my scene partner.

I brought in my laptop to replicate the typewriter, and I tried to sort of dress the part. I was in a wife beater shirt, with cotton twill black pants. I figure in 1989 they were loose in California, and they're supposed to be some sort of artist.

I must say that it was quite a stomach wrenching thing for me to do. To be shirtless in front of my peers for a prolonged period of time. It's not that I'm ashamed of what I look like without a full shirt, but it's more of the fact that I'm never in the environment where I have to be shirtless in front of 14 other people.

Nonetheless I think we did an amazing job and I'm extremely happy with our effort. We really did put maximum effort into this. I gotta tell you, this whole acting thing isn't as easy as many of you may think. There is so much more to it than we all think is needed.

So of course you know this means that people in my class can see movies in a totally different way than myself prior to these classes. But that is because we are now trained to sort of understand how one can make you believe in something that isn't really real. Does that make sense?

So I wonder, what did you see (in your mind) when you read my scene?

Act the fool, be a stripper

On one of the first days of class we all had to explain why we wanted to learn how to act. Several of our teachers asked us whether or not we had already acted in any kind of play in school, or anywhere else. I distinctly remember one student who when I saw him, I had this hunch that he could easily be an actor. He had the looks, the bravado, and the confidence to do what was being asked of us. I remember him saying that he had been in soap operas in his native country of Portugal but I didn't think much of it.

Last Thursday I had a terrible time during our technique class, I was really bad. The next day I met up with my classmate José Fidalgo and while we were supposed to just hang out and jam to some acoustic music, we actually ended up talking about acting the entire night. José made me understand that we shouldn't care if we make a fool out of ourselves. His words were "Just act like a fool".... Normally you always want to listen to someone who knows what he's talking about, and in this case José definitely knows what he's talking about.

To my surprise, José is not only an established actor in his country, but he is actually famous. Not a little famous, but insanely famous to the point where he is in all the gossip magazines in his native country of Portugal. So if you're asking yourself the same question I had "Why are you here in NY taking acting classes?", you're not alone. José's reason for taking the same classes I'm taking is because he wants formal training and he wants to better his English speaking skills as well.

So, now you're wondering... Who is this guy José Fidalgo?

One of José's biggest accomplishments is a short film he did with Monica Bellucci called "Heart Tango".

In case you don't know who Monica Belluci is, she's most known for her role in the second Matrix movie. She plays the wife of the Frenchman.


So after our Friday night talk, I got a sense of what it is that I need to do in order to accomplish becoming an actor. I need to let go of everything and just be a fool. Yes, that's correct. A fool.

Last night we had an improv class, as well as our movement class. Our improv class was the stage I used to act like a fool. The task at hand was to partner up with someone, and both of the students would have to walk outside the classroom (one at a time), come in talking jibberish, and the person inside the classroom would have to guess what "relation" their partner was to them. So to give you an example, a couple of students were Psychologist, Interrogators, Friends with benefits, etc. The task is to see if you can guess correctly what your partner was supposed to be you.

So as I mentioned before, I decided that I would let go of everything I always hold back. I asked myself "What's the one thing you would probably never do in public or in class". The answer was pretty simple "I would never take my shirt off in front of the class or in public for that matter". So, as I make my way outside the door, I decide what I will be to my partner Ana. As I walk in, I walk in seductively, I talk in jibberish trying to say "You know you want all this" as I point to my body and my sensual movements. I think my partner realized that I was an "entertainer" or "stripper" without me taking off my shirt, but I took off my shirt nonetheless. I tried my best and gave my partner a little lap dance, and of course proceeded to make a fool out of myself. :-)


I loved the fact that I didn't need to see my classmates faces as I did this because the loud "Ooohs and Ahhhs" were enough for me to realize that what I was doing was working. Mind you that all this probably took no more than 20 seconds, but those 20 seconds were extremely nerve wrecking. I don't care anymore. I've learned that you have to own what you do. That's in everything that I do now. Not just acting, but work, life, etc..

To sum all this up, it's extremely humbling when someone can do the following movie and still be in my class trying to better himself. If that isn't motivation, I don't know what is.

Starting a new chapter

I've always been the kind of person that doesn't like to complain about something and not do anything about it. Lately my life was at a point where I wasn't necessary unhappy, but I certainly wasn't "happy". Change was in the air, and I made lemonade out of lemons.

Last night I became a student of the Stella Adler Studio of Acting, and I took the first step towards getting out of this shell I've known for 33 years. The classes are small and extremely different than anything I have ever been a part of. You know you're in for a ride when the very first instruction you're given is to take off your shoes and socks. The lessons are not only academic in the sense that you would sit in a classroom and take notes. These lessons allow you to find your inner self and realize things about yourself that you would otherwise have never known.

We began with breathing exercises and trying to find where our vocal powers come from. We lay on our backs without our shoes and stared at the ceiling while understanding how our breathing and vocal system works. The next teacher started us off by putting on some African music and he had us dancing in ways I would never have imagined myself dancing. There was a part in the night where we formed a circle and everyone had to take a turn inside the circle and just let everything go. You had to dance and everyone around the circle has to imitate what you're doing.

If that isn't frightening, I don't know what is. Needless to say, I went first and just let myself go. It was somewhat refreshing and exciting all at the same time. After about three of hours of dancing we finished the night with 45 minutes of Yoga.

Yup, we all sat there and took in the first night of a different type of class. I'm extremely excited about all these new things in my life and it has refreshed my inner self in ways I hadn't expected.

I can't wait till tonight and tomorrow's classes. This is the beginning of a new chapter in my life and I can't wait to see where I am a year from now.

Remembering September 11

It seems like it was only yesterday that I was crossing the 59th street bridge by foot. The scene looked like a movie where thousands of people were walking on both lanes and chaos was in the air.

My day started out normal, I got into work early and was getting ready for the day's work. My boss came in and says to me "Did you hear about a small plane hitting one of the World Trade Center towers?" I hadn't heard anything by that point so I was oblivious to what was transpiring. We walked out of the office we were in and headed towards the conference room where a small group of people were looking at the TV screens.

None of us thought we were under attack so my boss asked me to go to one of the other labels we worked in (J Records). As I walked from 45th street and Broadway towards 57th street and 5th I could see the smoke coming from downtown. The feeling was very strange but we still thought it was an accident of some sort.

Now that I'm in J Records more and more people are gathering in the conference room glued to the TV. The second plane had struck and now we were certain it was no accident. Everyone looked at each other with disbelief, and we all had a sense of fear. Perhaps it was fear of the unknown but nonetheless it was fear. We were told that we could go home and be with our relatives because this was now a national crisis.

Upon leaving the building I tried to use the subway to get home but soon found out that all the trains had stopped working. Amazingly enough as I'm heading down towards the subway platform I bump into a friend of mine who was with a couple of other people and she tells me, "The subway is out of service everywhere". We all get out of the subway and start walking home. We had no choice. My friend was gracious enough to let us stay with her for a few hours because all public transportation had ceased at that point.

After leaving her place I couldn't even get a cab to go home so I ended up walking all the way home. One of the memories that I have from that day that I have never been able to forget is the walk over the bridge. Seeing thousands of people without a clue as to what was happening sent shivers down my spine. It seemed like a mass exodus. After getting home my next concern was my immediate family. I wondered how they would all get home.

By night time we all sat around and continued to wonder in amazement as to how this could happen in New York City. We were all glad to be with each other and lamented the loss of life in one single day. We should never forget September 11 2001, but we should also move forward.


Where were you on that fateful day?

Evan Tanner - R.I.P.

Back as far as I can remember, I've always liked Martial Arts. My obsession started with the likes of Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan (way before they were mainstream in America) Brandon Lee, and your usual characters in Jean Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal. Between my friends and I we used to have discussions about which Martial Arts Discipline was the best. We would argue how if Bruce Lee were alive, his Jeet Kune Do fighting style would kick almost anyone's butt.

Other than the Olympics, and in Dojo's there really wasn't a place to see people with different disciplines fight each other. You could always go see a Judo match, a Kickboxing match, but never a Judo fighter vs. a Kickboxer fighter against each other. We got small glimpses of a supposed barbaric sport in the movie called Bloodsport where fighters would fight with their legs and without gloves.

Not too long ago a fighting organization was formed and called the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship). Way back in the early 90's we finally got to see fighters with different disciplines fight one another and yeah, it was bloody. Not too many people except die hard fans actually bought the pay per views, but the sport lived underground for a bit.

It wasn't till new ownership of the UFC that the sport took off. The new owners would get the sport commissions to sanction the fights and thus make it legal. Needless to say, I've been a fan ever since the very first UFC. Along the way I grew to like a variety of fighters for very different reasons.One of those fighters was Evan Tanner. I think I associated with Evan simply because he wasn't braggadocios in victory, and he was always humble in defeat.

I was able to attend UFC 50 on October 22 2004 and you know who was on the card that night.
Evan Tanner vs Robbie Lawler.


In the picture below you see Mike Goldberg, and Frank Mir with the mic's and Ken Shamrock sitting on the bottom left hand side.


The first fight of the night. Travis Lutter vs. Marvin Eastman


Believe it or not, Mixed Martial arts is much safer than boxing.


We finally reach the fight with Evan Tanner


Evan Tanner was found dead on Monday September 8, 2008. Besides being a fighter, Evan was somebody who appreciated life and actually lived it to it's fullest. It is believed that after going to the desert he succumbed to the extreme heat, but the reports have been very vague up till now. Perhaps I identify with Evan because he was a free spirited person. Never ordinary, and always searching. What a beautiful way to live your life. I've always said that it's not tragic to die doing what you love.


Evan wrote about his trip to the desert. You can read his writings here. As you well know, I don't believe that Evan went somewhere else and is now living somewhere happily. I believe that Evan lived his life here on Earth, and allowed us to part take in a little bit of it. He has left us his legacy of being an exceptional MMA fighter, but also an exception human being. Thanks for the inspiration Evan Tanner. Thanks for having existed.

"Believe In The Power Of One"

Brian Vander Ark

Back in the days when I used to work at BMG (Bertelsmann Music Group) we used to get tons of CD's handed out to us. The building consisted of a variety of music Labels (RCA, J Records, Bad Boy, etc.) and there was always something in your taste there. Amongst the things you'd expect to like, there were bands like The Verve Pipe which I never really paid attention to back then as my musical taste was different.

Last week a friend of mine who worked with me in the same floor at BMG invited me to a private party he was having at his apartment. Woo Hoo, big deal. Well, what he mentioned next to me was rather surprising "Brian Vander Ark from The Verve Pipe will be at the party performing and hanging out for a little bit". Now, I remembered the band name and the singers name but I couldn't remember what songs I knew?

A quick check online and hours later I couldn't stop listening to a bunch of Brian's music. Considering that my taste in music right now is exactly what Brian Vander Ark is doing, it was a thrill to know that I'd be in a small setting listening to him. If you still don't know who Brian is, he is most known for the song called "The Freshmen"

Now that you know who he is, let me progress with the party at hand. The night begins with some food that my friend Bill Fleischer (the host) provided.


The veggies were right on the money!


Damn, that yellow cheese was so good.


This is a must for any REAL party.


Brian Vander Ark listens to the host before he begins to play.


In between songs Brian explains how some of the songs came about.


Rocking to the tunes head shake


To hear his voice live is an experience on it's own


Lastly, yours truly with Brian. Great shot Bill!


The entire night was just awesome! I cannot tell you how great it was to listen to Brian Vander Ark live, and only about 5 feet away from me. Don't believe me, check out the video:


Watch in High Quality Here

The Internet Is Broken

The life of an I.T. guy is an interesting one. Until people stop being people, we will always have a need for I.T. guys. I have heard everything from My printer is broken (when it's really just in need of toner) to My Computer is broken (when it's really just turned off). So while I'm happy that there are extremely computer illiterate people in this world, there are some of you who are extremely funny with computers.

As you will see in the following video, some people just can't function with a little change. I have met a bunch of people like the ones you are going to encounter in this video, and that goes for both the I.T. guy and the person(s) on the other line.



Too funny...

Everybody Loves Chris

There are those who talk about doing it, and then there are those who actually do it. On Sunday, our buddy Chris made his stand up debut at Caroline's Club in New York City.

At the office Chris is your regular clown making us laugh with the silliest of things, but I think that we are all proud of Chris as he embarks on this rather difficult but rewarding path to success.

Chris started this stand up routine by going to "Stand Up Comedy School". Yes folks, there are even schools for this. The grand finale was at Caroline's and while we got to see the rest of his classmates, I must say Chris along with two other comedians were the highlight of the night.

Some of the other people were somewhat funny, but you can't expect much considering this was their first time. If nothing else, Chris has inspired me to follow my dreams and has proven yet again that if you work hard enough for something it can come true.

Congratulations Chris!!

The Wisdom Answer

So I'm sitting in the dentist's chair getting ready to meet the guy who will be using instruments of pain in my mouth and I begin thinking of the worst scenarios. I think he won't be able to pull out the wisdom tooth, and in turn it'll require more injections inside my mouth.

As I meet the doctor I notice that he is a chubby fella in really good spirits. He proceeds to talk to me about how the longest part of this procedure is filling out the paper work and we strike up a conversation about technology. Being that I'm a tech geek I mention to him how it would be great if there was such a thing as a wireless tablet with a touch screen where all the info entered on there automatically goes to a database rather than writing it out on paper then entering all the info on a computer terminal.

The doctor proceeds to tell me that, that technology is already in place but in big hospitals. He tells me that perhaps in another 10 years we might start seeing all that in regular offices like the one I was in. While we're having this convo the doc proceeds to start the numbing procedure and we continue talking.

I ask the doctor "Why do they call it Wisdom Teeth?" The doctor then explains that wisdom teeth start to come out between the ages of 18 and 25 when we are supposedly "wiser" or when we supposedly acquire wisdom. I don't know if that's the absolute correct theory or explanation on why they're called Wisdom teeth but I like it and I'm sticking to it.

My next question to the doctor is "If we really don't have a need for these teeth why does our body produce them in the first place?" The doctor's answer: Evolution. Yes folks evolution is partly responsible for those extra set of teeth we have. The explanation is as follows.

Back in our primitive days we had a different diet where our body required the extra set of teeth to break down the kind of meat we ate along with the kind of greens we had as well. You have to remember that for a long long time we didn't have fast food, or for that fact cooked food. As we have evolved into what we are now, we no longer have a need for those extra set of teeth because our mandibles are receding thus it explains why most people have all set of wisdom teeth removed.

By now my mouth is numb and the doctor explains that I will feel a little bit of pushing here and there. He asks me if I want to put on my iPod and listen to music while he's doing this so I take out my iPod and start listening to music. By the time a third of the song goes by he turns around and starts packing up. He then says to me "you're all done". To my amazement the procedure took less than a minute and my worry had been for nothing.

Of course I couldn't really eat the first day but that was no biggie for me. So as I left I wondered who in the world came up with the idea of calling it Wisdom teeth in the first place. I ask this because you encounter things in your life that somtimes question what Wisdom really is.



So, you still think we acquire wisdom between the ages of 18 and 25?

Terrible Tuesday

So today is a terrible Tuesday for me. First, let's begin with the bunch of fun I will be having shortly at the Dentists office. Getting this damn wisdom tooth removed proved to have no wisdom. UGH!

Secondly, as a HUGE New York Mets fan I woke up to terrible news today. The manager for the New York Mets was fired last night after the Mets actually won a game. While there might be some understandable reasons for firing your manager in the middle of the night, after a win, I can't help but really be mad at the Mets hierarchy right now.

I don't think they conducted themselves in a manner that is due to someone like Willie Randolph. Willie had shown a lot of class and poise during the good and bad times he managed the Mets. Who knows what will happen to this team now?

To Willie I say this to you: Hold your head up high. You always did your best and if you're the one to take the blame for old players not being able to play to their potential, so be it. You know in your heart of hearts that it wasn't you who lost the games after your relievers couldn't throw a strike to save their lives, it wasn't you who struck out with your bat on your shoulder with one game to go to the World Series. It wasn't you who blew three consecutive saves with tons of runs on the scoreboard. And it certainly wasn't you who decided to let go of Ruben Gotay, Brian Bannister, Paul LoDuca, and many other stinkers Omar Minaya has done up to this point.

If this team no longer performs on the level it's supposed to, I say look at Omar Minaya as he's the one who assembled this team.

Good Luck Willie!
Thanks for all the Amazin' Years as the Mets Manager.

Pulp Fiction

They say if you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere...
Who knows.
Maybe one day you'll see this at your corner news stand.
:-)

Wisdom

When I think about diving with Great Whites, jumping out of airplanes, or any activity like that I don't normally get scared. Sure there is a sense of fear, but that fear eventually turns into fun and you want to do it over and over again.

So explain to me how in the world I am terrified to get my wisdom tooth pulled out? Yup, out of all the things that I have done in my life, getting my tooth pulled out has me scared like a little girl.

This brings me to something about the tooth itself. Why do people call it a Wisdom Tooth? If these supposed Wisdom teeth always end up getting pulled out, where's the wisdom in all that?

So now I eagerly await the fun filled day of numbing and pulling.
Ouch!